I wish someone had told me the natural high that comes with running a marathon only lasts for one week. For exactly 7 days I felt amazing but then depression, sadness, and anger at the world set in. I haven’t been working out nearly as much, I haven’t seen any of my team mates since The Marathon, and I am barely running despite the fact that I have the US Half on November 6th.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Right after The Marathon, I was in a daze. Very happy, head-in-a-fog, and completely clumsy! Everything I would touch, I would drop, and I was constantly tripping over things around the house- the living room rug, Hubby’s shoes, my kids’ toys, my own feet. That would normally be annoying but it wasn’t at all- post-marathon I was a very happy mess, and now, I’m just a mess.
When I get depressed, I tend to self-punish by not allowing myself to do the things I usually enjoy. I avoid my friends, food, wine, running, reading, playing with my kids, playing Rock Band, and now blogging. I was going to post about this funky funk several days ago but, obviously, didn’t. I was unable to figure out exactly what to write about this bad attitude of mine and since I enjoy blogging, chose to avoid it. I do, however, allow myself to watch bad television and sulk and feel sorry for myself, I’m a master at that.
One of the first things I realized once I got my head out of the clouds was that nothing has really changed. Okay so I ran a marathon, something that only 1% of the world population does, and that’s great and all but I’m still me, I’m still doing the same every day things I do as a mom/wife/homemaker, and even though my next season with Team in Training starts on November 12th, I find myself happy about nothing, pissed off at everything, and doing nothing about it.
Well, that’s not completely true- I forced myself to go out with friends on Wednesday night and I am joining some Team in Training friends for a run on Sunday. The girl’s night out on Wednesday was fun, as always, but it was hard for me to really let loose as I was in such a horrible mood and it showed. Of course, they asked me about it and offered hugs and support and all the stuff BFFs are supposed to do but I just responded with, “Whatever. No big deal. I’ll get over it soon enough. Where’s my cocktail?” Not sure if they found my response to their succor insulting or not because, as girls, we just changed the subject, moved on to something else, ordered more shots, and harassed our waiter… typical stuff for us.
Oh and to top it all off, my stupid birthday is coming up on Tuesday and I will be thrity-fricking-seven so have been obsessing over all the gray hair and wrinkles I have. That’s really fun to do when you’re already depressed, you should try it sometime.
So now it is Saturday and we have a great Halloween-themed weekend planned, the kids are going to love it so I hope to shake this off, or least forget about it, so as not to ruin everyone’s good time. I dunno though, I make no promises.
Have you ever felt this kid of let-down after a big race? How do you handle it? Any suggestions for me and my attitude problem?